A few things I don't want you (or me, mostly) to forget about this wonderful Christmas.
Juliet, it's so easy to start listing them-- you singing Jingle Bells, you loving the "bubbles" on the tree, your red frock, your face when you saw the kitchen Santa brought. The way you say "dorry" and look everywhere for the doll you got (who is incidentally called Juliet, too, or so says the box, but I think Dorry is better.) christmas coincided with a language explosion for you this time, and every day has brought more magic. Mummy is now firmly in your lexicon, and I couldn't be happier. Little sentences are starting to appear, too, and No is your favourite word. You are challenging in the way an almost-two-year-old should be, and rewarding beyond my ability to express. Your little triumphs make me so proud and are the best gifts all year long. I didn't need to open a thing on Saturday morning, only to see you so happy, and so beautiful and so smart.
And Simon, well, baby boy, you challenge me, too, in ways I never expected. I get frustrated with the feeding and reflux situation. It brings me to tears sometimes, including on Boxing Day, but always know that it's because I can't make it better for you, even though I desperately want to. It's because I want things to be smooth and all giggles and joy, but it's far from your fault that it's not. I love seeing you change, too, seeing you grow and perhaps because of the hardships, hearing you laugh is that much sweeter, that much more of a treasure. I loved sitting with you in the dark on Christmas eve, watching the tree and listening to you drink and breathe and I felt relaxed and so, so, so thankful. So full. You were the gift this year I didn't know I wanted, but sometimes those are the very best kind (definitely so when it comes to you). You don't understand the presents, the decorations and gathering of people we love. You just know cuddles and puke and milk at the moment, I think. But you were loved. You made everyone proud, made everyone want a cuddle, and your smiles lit up the room more than any fairy lights could have.
There is a time in my past that was so dark, when I never dreamed I could feel this happy, this complete, this level of joy, but my heart nearly burst this last week, many times, with love and pride and utter elation. You two are better than anything Santa's ever put under my tree. And every day is like opening some new surprise, some new discoveries.
Already, I can't wait for next Christmas.
I love you both to the top of the wise men's star and back again,
Mummy
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