Truth be told, after much google research and book-reading, it turns out there are different interpretations of what it means, but it also seems I'm doing it.
I hesitate (and have) to label myself as "AP," mainly because Juliet wasn't breastfed, but it's kind of my natural way of doing things (that is, I don't do things because I want to follow the attachemnt parenting way or because I read it in Dr Sears-- I do it because it feels like what's right for my babies and my family.)
Both babies sleep/slept in our room, at least for 6 months. I don't co-sleep because our bed is too small and I would not rest well knowing they were right there under us, but I have brought Juliet into bed when she was sick, and I see the appeal. If our bed was bigger, we might. But they both have/had the moses basket in our room, so I can hear them, smell them, tend to any needs. It's nice.
I also don't believe in letting a child/baby cry. As Juliet's grown older, I've had to differentiate between crying and tantrum-ing, which I do let her do (but mainly because I want her to grow up thinking it's OK to have strong feelings and to get them out-- I'm forever saying, "I know you're mad/sad/upset-- it's ok to cry. I'll let you cool down a bit.") She never cried it out. I tried it once when she was jet lagged and I was desperate for her to go to sleep, and it was torture for us both. I wouldn't ever tell another mum not to do it-- every baby and every family has different needs and I respect a mother's right to do what's best for her baby.
I sling my babies. Babywearing has become more popular lately-- thanks maybe to Brangelina and their brood. I can say that I really fid it convienent now I have two-- it's easier to pop Juliet in her Maclaren and Simon in the sling when I'm out on my own with them both. We have a Moby Wrap (a long piece of cloth that you tie around yourself in a way that would make boy scouts blush), a Baba Sling (more like a pouch that goes around you and buckles at the shoulder), and a connecta (more like the baby bjorn carriers-- has a defined seat and straps around the waist and over the shoulders like a rucksack.) Each has its uses. Right now, while Simon is small, the Moby is working well. I love having his little head right there to kiss, feeling him breathe against me. I love how he snuggles his little head in. I love that he has a little stripey hat that matches the Moby (I'm a sucker for cute things!). It kind of reminds me of being pregnant again, and I suspect it reminds Simon of being inside, which is the point-- to make him comfortable and happy.
We did baby-led weaning with Juliet (more about that soon, I suspect, as Simon begnis weaning around 6 months). I "bottle nursed" her-- which is holding her close and giving her bottles-- she never had them propped up. I let Simon comfort suck at the breast if he needs it.
I also spend most of my babies' lives with them. I'm staying at home, more out of necessity (Steve's working hours would make any nursery arrangement difficult), but when I went into the hospital in July overnight-- it was the first night I'd ever been away from Juliet. Sure they go off with the grandparents now and again, to give me a break or whatever, but I am always there at the end of the day with cuddles and kisses. I kind of believe this is part of why Juliet is so confident with new people-- she's got the knowledge that I'm there to give her love and support and gentle guidance.
I think my way of parenting, my philosophy, is that I want them to feel loved. I want them to be confident in trying and doing things because they know I'm right there, I'm supporting them and doing anything and everything to be a gentle, loving parent. I believe that love oes a long way out in the scary, big world. SO I want them to have as much as possible.
I can see why this definitely doesn't work for all families, and how some people see it as spoiling children. As I said, I don't begrudge any family the right to do things as they see fit-- most children turn out fine in the end, no matter what, but this is what works for us. This is what makes me feel like a good mum, and like I'm meeting my children's emotional needs, which is very important to me, especially as I'm the only parent they have most of the time.
No comments:
Post a Comment